An open letter to my Dad

Would you even know me or I you? Would I find a tape of you someday and hear your voice speaking to me? You never wanted me but I have always wanted you. What have I done in my life to have you walk away and never know me?

If I could change, could go back, could never exist would it make one minute of your life different?

I may never know a thing about you but that does not change who I am and how much I really want to know you.

But it is okay, I have learned how to cope with being the person that people do not acknowledge. The one the proper people are ashamed of and so I think maybe, just maybe I am strong enough to know that you are too ashamed of me to tell the world you are my father.

I forgive you Dad but I do not know if I could ever look you in the eyes.

Your daughter,

Trish 

Talk

Can we just talk or should I go

Do you just hate me; was it all a lie

Can I know that truth or will you just run and hide

The vale of your smile has slowly faded in my mind

Your touch just a memory; a mist of emotion

Can I hide from the world till the pain goes away

Can we just talk or has the time for talking gone by.

-Trish 2011

The Departing

It only hurts a little while

That pain so present but fading fast

It pours upon the floor in waves

but wrapped the cold engulfs me now

I am the eagle soaring high

to lift my wings and turn to fly

it's time I depart this place

for rest, no pain I know awaits.

-Trish 2011 

Moving On

And now confirmed suspicions be

the pain is great but meant for me

I walk upon the trembling sand

and know that cracks and craves doth steal

the warmth of love, the smile, and touching hand

no longer mine I turn to stand

and face the wind, walk further on

to distant lands where I am found. 

- Trish 2011

Why Me?

Why do I let you in my heart?

Why do I care so much?

Why is it that you trample, the only love I’ve got?

Why can you make me laugh out loud?

Why is it that you shine?

Why have I fall’n so deeply, for the one I think divine? 

- Trish 2011

My Confession

If I told you that you are beautiful, would you believe the depths of my honesty?

If I screamed to the world that you are amazing, 
would I just be another crashing cymbal in the music of your life? 

If I said how much you mean to me, would you understand my pain?

If I told you how lonely I am without you, would that change a minute of your day?

If I confess I've fallen in love with you, would you quiet my trembling heart?

If I asked you into my life, would you turn walk away?

- Trish 2011

The Morning Dew

You are the precious flower
Clothed in the morning dew
You're bathed in radiant colors
Your fragile pedals show
I bask in joy and wonder
On a gift that God bestowed.
I dare not touch your beauty
I shan't chance to mar it's glow
For in my selfish grabbing
I might per chance destroy
And loose the love I know
And with it my heart would go.


Trish 2011

I Wish

     I wish that I                        could somehow 

  tell you all the things that matter most to me 

   and yet you somehow stay aloof so difficult 

    to shatter the barrier that stands so strong

         around your tender  heart so forcing

             me to outer places where I should

               never be the one  you whisper

                  honestly your thoughts of

                           love so true yet 

                              still I wish.

                                   <3

Love and Pain

Why is it I should cause such pain, 

to others whom I love but bruise?

and why should others feel my strain,

of outcast life I somber choose?

If I the one their trials cause,

and bring the clouds and horrid rain,

then I should leave before I loose

my most loved friends and go insane.

- Trish 2011